Authenticity is a privilege- not everyone has it. 

My Whole Self Day is an opportunity to celebrate authenticity at work. Being authentic at work means being open about who we are, what we need, and what we bring to the table. It sounds appealing, right? ‘Bringing your whole self to work’? But, while it may sound good in theory, the reality is that not everyone has the liberty to bring their whole selves to work. Authenticity isn’t a given; in fact, it’s a privilege.

Privilege is often seen as a dirty word because people assume exclusion only happens when someone actively causes it. They believe inclusion is the default unless a few bad actors ruin it. However, the reality is the opposite; exclusion is the default. Inclusion only happens if people are actively working to change it. That’s where privilege comes in.

Imagine you’re invited to a party where you only know the host. Everyone else has known each other for years. They share inside jokes, reference the same TV shows, and talk about experiences you weren’t part of. If they assume you’ll naturally fit in without any effort, you’ll likely feel isolated and leave early.

But if the host tells the guests you’re coming and encourages them to bring you into conversations, you might feel welcome and stay. The other guests have an advantage you don’t. They already belong. That’s a privilege. And if they don’t recognise it and act, you’re left out by default.

Learn more about why ‘unconcious bias’ isn’t really unconscious.

Who gets to be authentic without consequences?

Power dynamics shape the extent to which someone can be their true self at work without fear of repercussions. Mental Health First Aid England’s research showed that half of the people who felt it was important to bring your whole self to work felt able to do so, and the impact is particularly felt by those who experience exclusion in the workplace. 54% of Black people surveyed said their productivity was impacted by not being able to bring their whole selves to work.

 Half of LGBTQ+ employees said not being their whole selves at work impacted their mental health. And neurodiverse respondents were less likely to feel valued and respected for their contributions and identity or trust that workplace decisions were made fairly. And these experiences, when they intersect, compound the barriers that stand in the way of feeling a sense of belonging and authenticity at work. The freedom to express identity without professional or social penalties is not distributed equally. It is dictated by factors like race, disability, gender, and socioeconomic status, each intersecting in ways that determine who is seen as ‘authentic’ versus ‘unprofessional.’

The hidden cost of fitting in

For neurodiverse and disabled people, we’re often the ones at the party who don’t know anyone. We speak differently; sometimes, we look different; we might act differently. If no one makes the effort to include us, we spend enormous amounts of energy changing how we behave just to fit in. This is masking: a tool many of us rely on to navigate social and professional spaces.

Masking isn’t sustainable, and it shouldn’t be the expectation. Mental Health First Aid England’s research repeatedly evidences that hiding your whole self at work takes a toll on engagement, mental health, and productivity. It’s something we see all the time when providing one-to-one neurodiversity coaching to employees. What we also know is that masking has long-term negative effects. Over time, it leads to burnout, which makes masking impossible. And without masking, our communication is different, and we often display other behaviours that seem ‘abnormal’ to those around us. For those who usually mask when we do burnout, we’re often not believed because we seemed ‘normal’ before.

This is especially true for women, whose neurodiversity is often expressed differently due to gender norms. Societal expectations of how women should behave, such as being nurturing, quiet, and emotionally controlled, can make it harder for neurodiverse women to express traits that might be more normalised or accepted in men, like assertiveness or fidgeting. For example, a woman’s difficulties with social interaction, communication, or sensory sensitivities might be overlooked or misunderstood because they don’t match the typical stereotypes of how neurodiversity presents in men. These gendered expectations can lead to additional pressure for women to mask their neurodiverse traits to conform to idealised versions of femininity, often at the cost of their own well-being. This contributes to the underrepresentation of neurodiverse women in diagnoses, with girls making up just 25% of ADHD diagnoses and 29% of autism diagnoses (Childrens’ Commisioner).

For people of colour, masking isn’t just about fitting in; it’s an act of safety. The experience of being non-white already places them outside the white ideals of what ‘normal’ looks like. When Samuel L. Jackson joined this year’s Super Bowl halftime show, his words captured how Black people, in particular, are perceived: “ “too loud, too reckless… too ghetto.” Black people are often seen as aggressive or unprofessional for traits that might be praised in white counterparts. The consequences of these disparities can be fatal, often particularly so for neurodiverse Black people. Ryan Gainer, a 15-year-old Black autistic teen, was tragically killed by San Bernardino County sheriff’s deputies during a mental health crisis in March 2024. Despite his family’s repeated calls for help in the past, deputies shot him within seconds of arriving at the scene, reinforcing the harsh reality that neurodiverse people of colour face not only systemic exclusion but also direct threats to their safety.

This means that neurodiverse people of colour face a double burden: not only do they have to mask their neurodiversity, but they must also navigate the racialised expectations of how they should behave to be accepted or even safe.

The double-edged sword of diagnosis

A neurodiverse label or specific diagnosis can be a shield. It gives us a way to explain why we’re different. But it also comes with assumptions about how we’ll engage and participate. Diagnosis can be expensive, time-consuming, or even unattainable due to healthcare disparities. Find out more about neurodiversity in our blog. In England, over 150,000 people are currently awaiting an assessment for autism alone- that’s 50% more than the previous year (NHS). Across the country, wait times are far above the NICE target of 91 days, reaching into the thousands in some parts of the UK (BBC, 2023).

For neurodiverse individuals, authenticity too often hinges on whether they have an official diagnosis. Workplace accommodations, legal protections, and even basic understanding are frequently tied to paperwork, something that isn’t accessible to everyone. Diagnosis can be expensive, time-consuming, or even unattainable due to healthcare disparities.

Without a diagnosis, an employee who struggles with sensory processing or executive function may be dismissed as lazy, unfocused, or resistant to feedback. Meanwhile, their diagnosed counterparts may be offered flexibility and support. This discrepancy forces many to either mask their neurodiversity or risk judgment, exclusion, or even job loss.

How do we give everyone access to authenticity?

What you can do as an individual:

• Acknowledge your privilege, show up as your whole self, and make space for others to do the same, especially when their experiences look wholly different to yours.
• Create environments where people feel safe to unmask by actively educating yourself on the many ways that so-called “difference” might show up in your spaces. Inclusion and accessibility go beyond kindness; they mean understanding that treating people well isn’t one-size-fits-all. Being open to feedback, even when it’s uncomfortable, isn’t just important, it’s essential. Inclusion is a learned skill. 
• Build communities that don’t gatekeep labels but embrace the full spectrum of lived experiences.

What our organisations can do:

• Implement policies that support neurodiverse and disabled employees without a reliance on diagnosis. Support shouldn’t be gatekept for those with access to a diagnosis, especially in a world where diagnosis often comes at the point of crisis.
• Make training a priority for everyone. Inclusion and accessibility aren’t individual efforts; they’re collective responsibilities that thrive on collaboration and shared understanding. Training equips us with the language to engage, the space to make mistakes, and the opportunity to grow. Neglecting it isn’t an option.
• Encourage employees to bring their whole selves to work, if they choose to. MHFA England®’s My Whole Self: My Plan for working well helps empower workplaces to support better support and motivate their people. Used in conjunction with other My Whole Self resources, the plan helps to create psychological safety. Teams thrive when all voices are encouraged to speak up with ideas, questions, and concerns without fear of judgement or consequence.

My Whole Self Day is about celebrating authenticity at work, but it shouldn’t be limited to just one day. As well as a celebration, let’s see this day as a call to action. If we make a daily, intentional effort to include diverse experiences, understand privilege and dismantle systemic barriers, we can make My Whole Self Day a reality for everyone— every day of the year. 

To  get stuck in removing barriers for neurodiverse people at work, book a 15-minute consultation with our expert team.